Also, schools will be the first to get hit by radiation, if I remember classroom drills right

nuclear radiation from map of japan falls into school

I think we all knew that the media was exaggerating any danger from radiation. The brave Japanese workers who kept cooling down the factories kept most of the damage under control. (gulp)

People in LA got vaguely more interested in the idea that radiation might sail across the ocean and affect the west coast. Vaguely. But this post in LAist made me laugh out loud! They call Ann Coulter a nuclear physicist, who says radiation is “good for you”.

As people in Japan panic and workers risk their lives at the country’s Fukushima Nuclear Plant, Coulter went ahead and published a column called “A Glowing Report on Radiation.”

Hee! I didn’t read her column, and everyone loves to hate on Ann Coulter, but I met her once, and she was super-nice.

Cartoon caption: Little boy in classroom looks at map of Japan with nuclear radiation falling down from the map, and says, Ms. Figgens, do we have any more of those paper masks?

More cartoons:

1. Japanese Stock Exchange teeters after the earthquake, too.
2. California Elections are coming, California elections are coming, etc

From the LA Times:

The Los Angeles County Sheriff’s Department took in a record haul of firearms this year through its Gifts for Guns program, an annual event in Compton that allows people to anonymously turn in firearms in exchange for $100 gift cards at Target, Best Buy or Ralphs supermarkets.

Over the last two weekends, deputies collected 965 weapons and distributed more than $95,000 in gift cards, deputies said. That far surpassed last year’s total of 387 guns. Deputies speculate that the shrinking economy may be behind the rise in participation.

In past years, Target and Best Buy cards were the most coveted, Woods said.

But this year, the supermarket cards were the most popular.

Don’t you love the title of this program? Gifts for guns. Like, make this a Christmas, holiday tradition. Or, you could wrap your guns in pretty paper.

Cartoon caption: The Mayor has asked that volunteers turn in all red meat. No questions asked. In other news, the city is offering a barbecue tonight. The poor and omnivorous are invited.

This cartoon has several levels. Obviously, I substituted meat for guns, as meat is always getting a bum rap in health news. (which it deserves, I guess, although I think some people do need meat.) But then there’s the sneak Mayor, trying to get in good with voters by giving it out the other door to the poor. Who cares if they eat meat and die sooner, right?

So…welfare, anyone? Isn’t this how every city works? Take from those who have meat and give it to people who just eat Twinkies.

PS, Remember that Bill Murray movie where the flower lady mournfully wails, turn in your dead? I forget the name.

More cartoons:

1. I support Swiss Miss and off-shore bank accounts!
2. Making raw meat into Obama’s War Team.

John-Jones nutty putty cave

More than 50 people tried to help him for over a day.

The 6-foot-tall, 190-pound Jones got stuck with his head at an angle below his feet about 9 p.m. Tuesday in an L-shaped area of the cave known as “Bob’s Push.” The area is only about 18 inches wide and 10 inches high.

I literally shuddered at those numbers. Oh my gah. My worst nightmare.

At one point, they had moved him roughly 12 feet out of the tight crevice, far enough to give him some food and water. But he slipped back into the space when an anchor in the cave roof that supported the pulley system failed,

Spencer Jones said his family is “remarkably strong,” but is struggling to make sense of what happened.

I think I know.

I remember reading about a totally different death in the LA Times in 2006 that was disturbing on several counts. A family reported a woman was missing – Mariesa Weber, a 38 year old woman who lived with her mom and sister. Well, that’s strange to begin with. Anyway, from Fox News:

Weber, 38, returned home Oct. 28 and greeted her mother, then wasn’t seen again. Her family thought she had been kidnapped and contacted authorities. Family members scoured her room for clues but found nothing, though they did notice a strange smell.

Her family believes Weber, who was 5-foot-3 and barely 100 pounds, may have fallen headfirst into the space.

On Nov. 9, Weber’s sister went into her bedroom and looked behind a bookcase, where she saw the woman’s foot. Using a flashlight the family saw Weber was wedged upside-down behind the unit.

Um, yeah, I guess. How could someone possibly fall BEHIND a bookcase?

There’s a disgusting description of the girl’s body in St Petersburg Times, of all places!, and many comments from people who were as confused as I was. One comment:

one good thing, they werent looking for a lost wallet or keys

Also, (I crossed out the delicate parts below.)

This is a VERY interesting story. I’m actually glad you published the details (rubbery foot, xxxxx face, mouth open in a xxxxxx, etc) because (unlike everyone else) I’m interested in details. I’m not going to lie and get all “noble” and say it’s bad.

Okay, we won’t call you “noble.”

I still didn’t understand what happened to that woman,  until I did some research. I think it’s positional asphyxia, which occurs when the position of someone’s body prevents them from breathing. Apparently you can’t breathe when you’re upside down for a few hours, although they always hold babies and magicians upside down, so I don’t know. Anyway, poor Mr. Jones was at least at an angle, if not entirely upside down. Maybe it’s your heart or your lungs that can’t work that way.

Here‘s another example: a plumber fell into a manhole head first. It’s really very shocking.

*Oh,  God, horrible update! They are going to close the cave and LEAVE HIS BODY IN THERE. From ABC4:

Utah County Sheriff’s Department says the body of a spelunker who became stuck and died in Nutty Putty Cave will be left there. The cave will also be permanently closed and sealed off.

It’s a state park, which is now closed to everyone! It’s a poor dead lad, and they’ll never know exactly how he died, or give him a funeral! Ugh.

More cartoons:

1. Dow Jones cartoon.

Tofu Thanksgiving! With joke in corner, not by Oliphant

Cartoon caption: TOFU FOR THANKSGIVING! Vegan, or…Bankrupt? [Toles or Oliphant would draw a small mammal here]

I wish you could see the family better here…we only get 500 px width on Slate. But it was fun drawing all the food, tiny-like! And I think I made tofu more fun than it has a right to be.

But the part that makes me laugh hysterically – yes I do entertain myself sometimes, which means I have a good job, right? – is the part in the corner about the well-known Pulitzer-prize winning editorial cartoonists Tom Toles and Pat Oliphant, who have  this constant melody of little animals or people or birds saying the punchline in the corner. I’ve seen Mad Magazine and Nickelodeon (now folded) do the same thing…

But what I’m curious about is which of these two op-ed cartoonists did it first; and who’s the copycat? :)

More cartoons:

1. Look how cute the NY Times op-ed is!
2. Limited Calorie diets make monkeys cranky.

Thanksgiving is only 3 days away! So this is your warning: be sure to eat enough at dinner so you aren’t tempted to bite the other family or guests.

It’s cruel and inhumane.

This blog at Sephora says that monkeys (and people on a limited calorie diet look noticeably younger.

But from a beauty perspective, it does what we want every anti-aging product to do–makes you look younger. Check out the picture of Mike (scroll down in the article), a 36 year old who has been following a caloric restriction diet for 6 years. He’s practically emaciated (6 feet tall and 135 lbs) but he looks like he’s 16! This approach, called caloric restriction, involves eating about 30 percent fewer calories than normal while still getting adequate amounts of vitamins, minerals and other nutrients. According to the Times article, aside from direct genetic manipulation, calorie restriction is the only strategy known to extend life consistently in a variety of animal species.

The original article from 2006 is at the Times:

Recently, the effort has begun to bear fruit, producing a steady stream of studies indicating that the rate of aging is plastic, not fixed, and that it can be manipulated.

Earlier this year, researchers studying dietary effects on humans went so far as to claim that calorie restriction may be more effective than exercise at preventing age-related diseases.

I had read this a couple of years ago. But this was interesting:

Earlier this year, four prominent gerontologists, among them Dr. Miller, published a paper calling for the government to spend $3 billion annually in pursuit of a modest goal: delaying the onset of age-related diseases by seven years.

Guess that never happened.

This couple has been eating less for 16 years, and are staying young.

However, ONLY the LA Times reported that the animals they tested were suffering. (Hey, get a real paper, people.)

“They bit people and were more agitated,” he said. In contrast, the mice who ate a normal diet “would just sit around and let you pick them up.”

I assume that monkeys would be much worse, but of course how would anyone know, since they cage them and probably never ever touch them. If you have any pets, you know how anxious they get at feeding time. Will you still give them food THIS time? Will they survive another day? In starvation mode of 30% less food…well, that is just cruel.

Cartoon Caption: Scientists cruelly gave mice, fish, and now monkeys limited-calorie diets – 30% less food. They are healthier, but bite more. (Unfortunately, no smiley-faces survived.)

This cartoon might be confusing, but I prefer to think of it as a little game. ;) It kind of grew organically – first the information, then the monkey holding on to the title board, and for some reason I threw in smiley-faces, one of which has starved, and turned into The Scream! I don’t know why! It just made me laugh!

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