National Velvet carried Elizabeth Taylor to stardom.

At least, that’s my take on it.

Why did she die at a fairly young age, 79? I looked it up in several sources, and it was congestive heart failure. That can slow you down. As I understand it, your heart becomes this squishy thing, not like a strong muscle, so your blood kind of swishes around, instead of squirting properly all over. Your legs are what the medical profession calls a “second heart.” That is, when you walk, they push the blood back up to your heart that gravity has let fall down to your feet. So, it’s healthy to walk. And not so healthy that she was in a wheelchair the last few years.

Turns out I’ve hardly seen any of her movies. Mostly, I admire her for being outspoken, and for appearing in public without much (any?) plastic surgery. You have no idea how hard it is for older women in Hollywood. Hell, even a good number of the girls on The Bachelor have had things done, even at 25! (although it’s mostly boob jobs.)

My Elizabeth Taylor filmography:

Jane EyreI think I saw it. I read the book, great girls book.

National Velvet Yes, read the book (all the horse books I could find) and saw the movie. There may have been some tears.

Little Women – probably. I saw one version, and liked it a lot. Who was she, Jo?And I read the book several times.

IvanhoeI think I had to see it in high school. But I might be getting it mixed up with the Ivanhoe Reservoir I see every day.

Cleopatra – Yes. I remember thinking she didn’t look that beautiful to me. She and Richard B. had some chemistry, though.

Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf?I hate this play. It was originally a play, then a movie. A married couple battle it out, and they’re not as clever as they think they are, but they sure are mean. It makes you squirm. If you saw the Emmy- nominated episode of The Office where Michael and Jan give a dinner party (the only dinner party) — like that.

A Little Night MusicI love this movie! Saw it as a play, too. It’s kind of like Glee for theater-goers, romantics, and sophisticates.

Cartoon after the jump. 

Not what you expected for Ms Taylor’s eulogy?

Rob Tornoe, a talented cartoonist out of NJ,  posted on Facebook:
Who’s going to draw the first political cartoon of Elizabeth Taylor as Cleopatra being carried to the pearly gates?

Which was funny because so many cartoonists will do/have done that. It looks weird to me to have editorial cartoonists draw heaven, just like gag cartoonists do, but I think death is hard to do well.

Daryl Cagle has several blogs, which is very confusing, but I managed to find his collection of Elizabeth Taylor cartoons. I’m not going to name the cartoonists, because there are 3 or 4 of the most hideous portraits I’ve ever seen there, and 4 have the SAME drawing of just her eyes! Poor Liz. You can make up your own mind whether <

Charlie Sheen cartoon.

Charlie Sheen cartoon. See, I promised you one. I haven’t seen any other good ones, but will post as I find any.

I mean, really. I’ve never watched Two and a Half Men, and don’t plan to now. Way too much bs, and the silly, silly media for encouraging this public breakdown!

Phil Hendrie (KFI) said the other night that he knows for sure that Charlie Sheen has been diagnosed with grandiose disorder hypomania, says Phil, or some “clinical” term like that. Maybe he’s back on cocaine, I don’t know.

But I know lots of actors, and they’re different from you and I – and they experiment with their own self, which is kind of neat. Maybe he’s just trying on the crazy mask, or the grandstanding one this month. I wish him luck in his 2 upcoming live speaker gigs in Detroit and Chicago, which are sold out.

No details about the show have been disclosed, but it’s being billed as “Charlie Sheen Live: My Violent Torpedo of Truth.”

Cartoon caption: The Prison of Public Opinion. Charlie Sheen: Two and a half years for harassing and grossing us out.